selena
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selena
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friends calling |
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晚上11点几，睡梦中，电话响。 “喂~~~~”“莹莹~~好挂住你吖~~~老地方，飞的过来啦！”系仙仙。“我训左觉啦~~”“靓妹，你转性啊？甘早训觉！比二十分钟你过来下~~~”系Belly。“唔出得唔得啊？我又唔饮得酒~~~”“靓妹~~系咪没酒饮就唔出来玩先？呢期叫亲你都唔出来，就来唔记得你咩样啦！”系Raymond。“边个叫你装正人地训左觉先叫嗟~~”…… 好唔容易收左线，我最终都系没去到。经过一轮“电话大战”，我已经训唔返啦。最近乖左好多，一系因为身体唔好，成日病，要过返D正常噶生活；二系我唔想大家对我过分关心。我知道距地好锡我，但系唔想每次都去玩都要距地就我，都要距地照顾我，更加唔想每次都听到距地叫我忘记Sky。我真系忘记唔到啊，因为我根本就没林过要忘记！ | ||
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时间：4/6/2004 2:07:50 PM | ||
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selena
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chat with Mammy |
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昨天晚上和妈妈聊天，突然问起我和他。我不知道怎么回答，唯有不出声。“你好中意距？”妈咪问，“嗯。”我答。妈咪唔高兴：“我唔想见到我女女为左个唔中意距噶男仔唔开心……”“Sorry啊妈咪，唔好再讲距好唔好啊？”我打断左妈妈，我惊再讲，我会喊，我唔想妈妈见到我噶脆弱！ 心痛，延续至今。我知道妈妈关心我，但距见到噶，just系个女女少左野讲，唔似往日笑得甘傻猪，呢D算得系咩嗟？我之前果D醉生梦死噶堕落生活，一定会吓死妈妈！不过，以后都没人会比我甘饮酒LU，医生话我再饮甘多，个胃就会没得医，距地就从此之后都唔准我再掂一滴酒！ 自己噶身体，人地噶关心同自己噶放弃形成左好大对比。突然间，觉得好悲哀，原来我爱距，更甚于爱我自己！ | ||
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时间：3/29/2004 6:30:06 PM | ||
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selena
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放纵 |
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终于睇晒左一套《男女字典》，入边好多对白，好正！ 发觉我噶生活，好似返到左半年前，毫无规律可言！原来人噶潜意识系唔会变嘎，兜兜转转，始终都系行返果条旧路。 我放纵自己，任由自己堕落，甚至更甚于半年前。系咪人人都会用折磨自己噶痛苦来换取感情麻木之后噶快乐？抑或只系得我会甘样？好憎恨自己，过左甘耐都忘记唔到距，不过如果真系可以忘记，三年前我就唔会甘傻猪add多次！ 2004年1月30日，13:53:28，有人同我讲过：“如果我都系甘对你，你会点呢？不过我每次都好快甘否定左自己既林法，因为我好清楚自己既为人，我跟本无可能做到距甘绝，更加唔忍心令到自己心爱既人伤心！”~~~系咩？？ 我唔想我D朋友担心我，但系真系好想有人可以借个膊头比我，喊！ | ||
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时间：3/24/2004 5:06:54 AM | ||
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selena
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only him |
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我以为醉了就可以忘掉一切，于是我拼命饮酒，但当我发现自己饮了这么多还是清醒的时候，我放弃了，因为个胃真的好痛！ 我拒绝吃药，我在折磨自己，即使止了胃痛，也止不了心痛，吃药又有何用？ 老友说我瘦了很多，我知道啊！刻意减肥时得不到的效果，现在却轻易得到了，多好！ 我知道爱情不是生活的全部，我知道没有爱情日子也一样会过，但我宁愿选择堕落，因为我真的很爱很爱他！ 我知道无论我怎么伤害自己他也不会心痛，更加不会回到我身边，那又怎样？我根本就不想他知道！因为我很清楚他说不爱我就真的是不爱我了，又怎么会怜悯我？！ “为什么她这样对你你还要如此执著啊傻妹？不值得啊！”“爱没所谓值得与否，从第一眼见到他便爱上他到今天，我都只会重复同一句话：‘我这一生，只会爱他一个’！” | ||
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时间：3/7/2004 3:15:05 AM | ||
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selena
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Cold!! |
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So cold! Not only the body,but also the heart! I just found it now! Can you delete my memory? If yes, pls do it,I don't want to have! Why everytime hurt me so strong~~~~~~~~why always make me cry~~~~~~~~~why the person is you!!! I'm out of power,I don't know how can walk into my room,one more time,you did it,hurt me deeply! Whatever you do,I can't hate you! Tell me,is that so-call“犯贱”？ | ||
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时间：3/5/2004 1:00:31 AM | ||
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selena
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one month passed |
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How time flies! We aparted for a month! I clearly remember this day,last month,I still called him husband in the morning but seperated in the afternoon! Seeing the words he wrote,hearing the sentences he said,reminding all the happy time we enjoyed together,I've already no any tears to drop! In my friends' eyes,I've no big changes,just keep silence all the time.Yes,I don't want them worry about me,I've already brought them so many trouble! I cried ofen,but just at the time locked myself in the bedroom. Maybe my friend is right,he is not worthy for me to hurt myself,he'll never know! Yes,I know also! But I don't want him know,I just do it for myself! Like tonight,just want to leave sth at this so-called "special day".just want to tell myself:I love him! | ||
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时间：3/5/2004 12:37:43 AM | ||
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selena
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suddenly crying |
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I don't know why I cried suddenly,so many tears running out of my eyes,I just feel my heart is aching strongly! The words he sent me by msg sticked in my mind,but I never hate him.I just want to ask,why just several days,the words were so different from the same person? Like Chris,they all know exactlly what is my weak-point,then hurt me straightly from the shoulder! I love him three years and the result is the same! He will never know how deep I love him,never know how deep I was hurt,never know the word "I love you forever" will actually last all my life...... | ||
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时间：2/27/2004 10:25:47 PM | ||
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selena
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have a long trip |
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My dear husband:I'll have a long trip this week,go to several places in the north China.Never left you so far before,even the New Year holidays! I still remembered many trips before had your voice with me,and at the same time I know it won't happen this time,but I'll also miss and miss you,and will tell you I love you everyday! All my best wishes to my lovest Sky! P.S.You must receive my Melody today,promised me,treat her well,ok? | ||
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时间：2/16/2004 12:18:51 AM | ||
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selena
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Happy Valentine's Day! |
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My dear husband,9 days have passed,I still can't help missing you! I asked for much more things to do but it seems useless,tears dropped all the same! Happy Valentine's Day! All my best wishes to my dearest Sky! | ||
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时间：2/14/2004 5:25:22 PM | ||
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selena
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[无主题] |
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| 老公…… | ||
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时间：2/6/2004 4:30:16 PM | ||
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selena
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[无主题] |
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老公我唔想喊嘎，点解会停唔到嘎喔！ 老公我唔想挂住你嘎，我唔想林起你嘎！ 但系我真系做唔到啊！ | ||
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时间：2/6/2004 3:03:07 PM | ||
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selena
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[无主题] |
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| 老公，我爱你！ | ||
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时间：2/6/2004 1:51:56 PM | ||
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selena
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[无主题] |
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| 老公，我好挂住好挂住好挂住你！ | ||
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时间：2/6/2004 12:53:10 PM | ||
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selena
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[无主题] |
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老公，我对住部电脑成朝啦，咩都做唔到啊！ 好痛啊！ | ||
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时间：2/6/2004 11:07:28 AM | ||
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selena
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byebye |
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唔知道你还会唔会来呢度，不过没所谓啦，都唔关你事咯。 我真系唔想厄你嘎！但系估唔到最终会发展成甘。 我已经喊到唔想再喊啦，好辛苦啊！ 个心好痛好痛好痛……痛过以往任何一次，我宁愿从来都未得到过啊！ 从今之后，我都唔会再叫其他人做老公，除左你！ | ||
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时间：2/6/2004 7:48:35 AM | ||
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